The REAL meaning of confidence
and still hold yourself in high regard.”
– Esther Perel
I love this quote by NYT bestselling author and renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel.
To me, it sums up the REAL meaning of confidence, which encompasses our messy, complicated, imperfect human selves.
What a relief to know that I can mess up, not get it right or be a bundle of nerves–AND still see myself as someone who is highly capable, amazing, and deserving of all good things.
Being an entrepreneur–and especially a sensitive, soulful one like many of us are–can take a toll on our confidence.
One day we’re flying high as a kite–speaking, being visible, signing on new clients, helping current clients create big breakthroughs, creating new transformative content–and feeling SO GOOD! Other days… well, not so much.
Here’s what I’ve learned: our confidence needs regular tune-ups. Gaining self-confidence is not a one-and-done thing or something to check off your “to do” list. It’s a muscle to strengthen and tone regularly.
Here are a few of my favorite ways to tune up your self-confidence:
1) Show up consistently. Say yes to the resonant opportunities to speak, connect and share your message. Show up even if you don’t feel “ready” or if it feels “half-ass.” It’s the consistency that counts. Learn to become a “deeply disciplined half-ass,” as Liz Gilbert says.
2) Practice intentional bragging. Gather with a trusted friend or intimate group regularly and have each person intentionally “brag” and celebrate what’s wonderful. This practice shifts your brain chemistry–releasing feel-good hormones, lowering stress, easing shame and building up confidence. I do this regularly with my closest friends and highly recommend it!
3) Move your body. Walking. Boogieboarding. Strength training. Yoga. Rowing class. These are my favorite ways to move my body. When you feel strong and healthy in your body, you naturally buff up your self-confidence. For a quick 2-minute confidence booster, dance like crazy around your house to Demi Lovato’s Confident, Lady Gaga’s Born This Way or Katy Perry’s Firework.
Our flaws make us more beautiful, interesting, and stunningly human. So, celebrate them and confidently know that you are AMAZING, no matter what!
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