I’m excited to offer you a Year-in-Review and 2017 Vision Mini-Workbook to support you in powerfully completing last year and propelling you into greater success and money flow in 2017.
Appreciation and gratitude are high-vibe states I love to cultivate regularly, and not just when things are going my way.
Especially when it’s challenging, uncomfortable or painful, I make it a practice to feel my feelings fully and, with time, find the gift in the situation.
So on this Thanksgiving Eve, I’m called to share a personal email with 22 things I’m appreciating in my life right now.
1) I appreciate my intuition. 2016 has been THE year for me to 100% commit to following my inner guidance in everything. Which means it doesn’t always follow what the business experts say to do, make sense, or look like the best marketing strategy. However, when I listen deeply to my own inner GPS, I am so much happier! And one of the cool byproducts is that since I made that commitment mid-year, my revenue has doubled.
2) That being said, I appreciate all the business mentors, marketing experts and the invaluable coaching, advice and support I’ve received. Having high-level support to help me grow my business is one of my top values, and I’ve made incredible strides in expanding my reach, my offerings and my income through the guidance of mentors and coaches. However, the shift for me in 2016 is staking my claim as CEO. I’m the boss of my business, and I get to practice discernment in deciding what advice or strategies to follow.
3) I appreciate my husband and son. Getting married in my late thirties and having a child at 40 was a longtime dream-come-true, and I feel tremendously blessed to have these two amazing guys in my life. Having extraordinary relationships with both of them does take truth-telling, commitment, compassion and lots of patience–not always easy. Why is it that all of my “stuff” and emotional triggers come up the MOST with the two people I LOVE the most?! 😉 The “work” that’s required, however, is SO worth it for these priceless beings.
4) I appreciate my extended family and dear friends in California, Texas and other parts of the U.S. Wow-wee, are there differences among my family members that could look like sharp divides! Particularly when it comes to political viewpoints, spiritual beliefs, and lifestyle choices. However, I celebrate our diversity and the fact that we find many areas of common ground, especially when we come from love.
5) I appreciate my son’s learning challenges. One year ago my son had to leave a private school that we loved dearly. Out of that extremely painful situation, we discovered our son’s learning challenges and have been steadily getting him support for his unique learning style.
6) I appreciate my morning quiet time. I love getting up early an hour or two before my family each morning and having precious time all to myself–to read, journal, meditate, stretch, watch the sunrise, and savor my morning cup of coffee. This is one of my essential daily practices that keeps me lit from within.
7) I appreciate my yoga practice. I’m so grateful to have a physically challenging practice that has sustained me for more than 20 years.
8) I appreciate my business. Woohoooo! Another longtime dream-come-true. Being an entrepreneur is definitely not the easy path. It causes me to dig deep, stretch beyond my limits, grow through extreme discomfort, and pick myself up again when I’ve seemingly failed. Have I had thoughts of giving up or doing something else in the 4 years I’ve been in business? You bet. But overall, it’s a thrilling ride–one that is THE most fulfilling career path I’ve ever been on.
9) I appreciate my clients. Have I been lucky and blessed with the most amazing clients! It’s so rewarding to witness them growing their income and impact, moving far beyond what they thought was possible for their lives, and becoming more of who they authentically are.
10) I appreciate all the participants in my workshops and classes. What a thrill and blessing it’s been to deliver my Speak, Shine, Sell Workshop to enthusiastic participants 5 times this year, with one more coming up in December. Listening to and following my intuition one year ago resulted in me creating this successful workshop.
11) I appreciate my San Diego business and networking communities. Namely Women’s Wisdom, Hera Hub, and the Business Unusual Breakfast Club. Not only have I grown my business through these groups, but I’ve started to cultivate some deep and lasting friendships with the people I’ve gotten to know, that goes far beyond business.
12) I appreciate YOU. Thank you for being on my mailing list and reading my emails. Some of you I know very personally, some of you I’ve met only once or twice, and some of you I have yet to meet. But the fact you’re here tells me there is value in our connection, and I promise to continue growing this value, supporting you in creating the business and life of YOUR dreams, and, hopefully, exceeding your expectations in 2017!
13) I appreciate my “rock star” Mastermind partners. Each Monday morning for one hour, I meet by phone with two amazing women who are lifelong best friends of mine and also entrepreneurs. What started mostly as business-focused support almost 4 years ago has evolved into supporting each other in EVERY area of our lives.
14) I appreciate the books that have made a HUGE difference in my life this year. These include Florence Scovel Shinn’s books The Game of Life and How to Play It, Your Word is Your Wand, and The Magic Path of Intuition (all written in the 1920s – 1940s), plus Regena Thomashauer’s newest book.
15) I appreciate the year-long Mastery Coaching Certification Program I’m in this year. It was a big fat investment, and I’m grateful I’ve been able to pay it off and benefit from the tremendous mentoring, coaching, and business and leadership training I’ve received.
16) I appreciate my love/hate relationship with social media 🙂
17) I appreciate my daily money tracking practice. This is another one of my “essential daily 3’s” where I get to practice being mindful with my money each day and be with whatever feelings come up–the high of having a fabulous revenue month and the low of having an embarrassingly low month.
18) I appreciate all the support I have in running my business. Last year I made a critical decision to hire administrative and event support even before I thought I could afford it. I’m so grateful for my VA Cathy and event assistant Amy who free up my time so I can focus more on my genius. Plus, my rock star husband continues to be just that–a rock star who does everything from Chief Financial Officer to Chief Photo Copier.
19) I appreciate all the personal support that contributes to my business success and overall wellbeing. Here’s a small list of who’s made a big difference in my life this year: Judy & Ken Foster of Women’s Wisdom, Tziporah for relationship mentoring, Serena Jenichs for amazing hair styling, Orly of Bella Sareena for incredible facials, Ana Nieto for transformational weight training, my yoga teachers Geri and Chris, and Josee Brisbois for a fabulous closet makeover.
20) I appreciate the times I felt really stressed out and overwhelmed. Because that caused me to create “Self-Love Days” devoted solely to pleasure and what lights me up.|
21) I appreciate my failures, fears and foibles. They make me into a more well-rounded Rebecca, remind me to stay humbly human, give me a good laugh or cry sometimes, and compel me to cultivate greater compassion for myself and others.
22) I appreciate my country. Thank you, Universe, for placing me smack in the middle of the USA where I was born, and then calling me to California in 1994. I LOVE living in San Diego near the Pacific Ocean and am so grateful I have the freedom to live the lifestyle of my choice. I will continue to pray that each person everywhere has the freedom to authentically choose and create the life of their most heartfelt dreams.
Now you, my dear. What’s on your appreciation list?
May you find many things to appreciate and celebrate in your life!
Have you experienced the feeling of being stuck—like you keep repeating the same pattern over and over—as you long to have the fulfillment you truly want in your business and life?
I believe it happens to all of us! You get caught up in old stories about what you can or can’t have. You put your dreams on hold or push them aside.
Or, worse, you give up on them completely.
There are bills to pay and mouths to feed. You have to be smart and sensible about your future, your retirement, your sanity.
Or you think you’re not smart enough, rich enough, young enough, old enough, educated enough, loved enough or fill-in-the-blank enough to really go for what your heart is truly longing for.
So you stay stuck, or you stay in hiding.
I know this pattern all too well.
When I was in my early 20s – yes, I’ll admit that was about 25 years ago! – I had a dream to be an entrepreneur.
I wanted to speak to and inspire audiences, lead workshops, facilitate groups and work with people 1-1 to help them transform their lives.
So I began taking steps in that direction. I created a Mastermind group. I attended workshops and trainings to develop my skills. I put together a personal growth presentation (called it Open the Door with Rapport!) that I delivered to a roomful of friends and acquaintances. I even had it professionally videotaped.
I was on fire. That was in 1993.
I let the dream go.
I didn’t think I had what it takes. I got caught up in comparing myself to others and “not enoughness.”
I got caught up in the need to make money, have a steady job and do what I knew how to do. I stayed in the comfort zone of the “known.”
Which was to go to work Monday through Friday from 9-5 and use my marketing and communications skills to help others be successful.
Now, 23 years later, the entrepreneurial dream is alive for me. I’m living it.
I’m regularly speaking and leading workshops. I now emcee a monthly women’s networking group. And I’m continuing to coach others to success in their businesses and lives, but I’m doing it on my own terms.
What made the difference? These 3 critical steps:
1) Trust your heart and start with the question: What would I LOVE?
A question I often ask my clients is “What would you LOVE?”
That’s the first question to ask yourself when faced with a big or small decision.
Not what’s the best deal, what’s going to make you the most money, or what’s the smart or sensible thing to do. Typically, those are questions that come from ego.
But when you start with your heart, that’s where you tune into your inner voice of wisdom, your Higher Self. Then, you can bring in the more analytical and practical questions, so that your ego is in service to your soul.
For example, I used the “what would I love” question as the springboard to starting my coaching business.
At the time, I was working a full-time job that I enjoyed. But, ultimately, I was feeling stressed out and unfulfilled.
I KNEW I was meant to have my own business.
And I knew it was my time now to step out from “hiding” and shine my brilliance in a bigger and bolder way!
When I got in touch with what-I-would-LOVE, I realized my heart was longing to have afternoons off to spend with my son, plus a longing for more personal time and the space to create my budding new business. I longed for breathing room.
So my first step toward my dream of becoming an entrepreneur was to cut back my hours at the full-time job.
Then, as I followed my heart and excitement, the “how” of leaving this job to start my coaching business – and ultimately, create a freedom lifestyle and financial success on my own terms – was revealed to me.
And 8 months later, I fulfilled my dream of being a full-time entrepreneur!
2) Leap before you’re ready.
Price Pritchett in his excellent book You-Squared urges us to “Make your move before you’re ready.”
He says to act first and then strategize while creating your dream business and life. When you do that, you’ll discover you can trust your instincts and that you know more than you know.
Writes Pritchett: “A quantum leap is a move that is yours for the taking. Right now. It represents a giant step you can make merely by deciding to and opening yourself up to the resources presently available to serve you.”
So when I decided to leave my full-time job to start my coaching business, I didn’t have all my duckies in a row. I didn’t know how it would all happen.
But I acted. I leapt.
I took the first step I knew to take and then strategized along the way. I followed the breadcrumbs and looked for signs that I was on the right track.
Was I scared when I took the leap and quit my full-time job?
You better believe it. But again, it didn’t happen overnight. It took 8 months from the time I decided to leave my job to when I actually left and started doing this business full-time.
3) Be willing to invest in yourself – and get support.
Let’s face it. We ALL need support in creating the biggest dreams in business and life.
But sometimes relying on just the support of your spouse, friends, co-workers, or family members doesn’t cut it.
There are those times when you absolutely need the support of a mentor, coach or consultant – especially if you’re starting or growing a business.
It’s essential to have someone who has traveled the path and can take you where you want to be, giving you the structure, support and accountability along the way.
This has been a critical step on my path. And ongoingly investing in my business and myself is essential to my success.
So I have a business mentor and coach, and I regularly receive training so that I can continually uplevel my skills as a professional coach and business owner.
Plus, I’m part of a weekly Mastermind group that holds me accountable.
Having a team of support around me helps me see my own blind spots and reveal unconscious beliefs that stop me.
My client Tom struggled for years on his own to integrate his 30-year career as a financial advisor with his longtime passion for teaching meditation and mindfulness.
Through our coaching together, he got crystal clear that his purpose is to bring forth BOTH aspects—the material and the spiritual—into his work.
As a result, Tom created the Mindful Money Institute, a nonprofit focused on helping money managers incorporate mindfulness and meditation to promote business growth and inner peace.
And, oh yes, our coaching also helped him get refocused on his business priorities, and he increased his revenue by 33%!
Bottom line: Take these 3 critical steps to create what YOU really want in your business and life. And please comment below!
A dear friend of mine, someone whom I’ve known for more than 20 years, passed away recently. It was sudden. A diagnosis came and then about eight weeks later, poof, he was gone.
Last weekend we gathered to honor his amazing life, and what a life it was.
Upon returning, I got the hit to not do my typical ezine this month and, instead, write something to honor his memory. So, Jimmy, this one is for you, my friend.
There’s a saying to “live everyday as if it were your last day.”
And that, in so many words, was exactly how Jimmy lived his life–pursuing his passions relentlessly every single day. Day in and day out. Even when he got “no’s or deals fell through or he ran out of money. This is definitely not a man who died with the music still in him.
He literally poured out his heart, soul and mind for decades–writing spiritual and personal growth books, developing financial market theories and tools, designing, publishing and marketing his own work, and pursuing a lifelong passion: filmmaking. (In the ’70s, he got his masters degree in film from Columbia University.)
His latest project was taking on the gargantuan task of creating a multi-part documentary on what seems like an impossible subject to tackle: “The History & Future of Humanity.”
People called him crazy. Obsessed. Over the top.
And maybe he was those things… but so what?
He DARED to get his voice, his art, his passion out into the world. He dared to shine his brilliance and dream big. To dream a big fat impossible dream and get up every single day with relentless drive and JUST DO IT.
Even if it meant living on the edge. Even if it meant people calling him crazy. (He would often poke fun at himself and say “Yep, I probably am.”)
This was a man of enormous courage, persistence, creativity, genius-like intelligence and action.
In those last weeks of his life, I spoke with him by phone and had the opportunity to visit with him, even though we now lived miles apart.
On those occasions, with as much strength as he could muster, he urged me to LIVE IT UP for him. To eat, drink and be merry. To seize the day. To take hold of each precious present moment and savor it. To give with wild abandon and not waste a second of life holding back.
I’ve been thinking about what this really means for me–and for you.
Quite simply, it comes down to this:
It’s time. Enough already. Time to get your voice, your art, your message, your gifts out into the world. Time to not hold back anymore. Time to come out from hiding and share your passion with others with ALL your heart, with every fiber of your being.
Time to live on the raw edge of ALIVENESS, as if today were your very last. And definitely time to stop freakin’ caring what others think of you, or if you’re bothering people. So what.
I say all those things because that “you” I’m referring to is also “me.” I had a million and one excuses to not send this email to you today. Too busy with clients. Too exhausted from travel. Too emotionally drained. Too many things on my “to do” list. Too… blah blah blah.
Steve Jobs in his famous commencement speech to Stanford grads said this:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
So a simple takeaway from this is to look at your calendar.
Do you wholeheartedly LOVE everything on it today? I mean, really and truly? And what about this week? And next month?
Are you waking up each morning excited to do what you absolutely and totally and madly LOVE? Doing what your heartreally, really wants? Not what you “should” be doing or what “makes sense” logically or what’s going to bring you the most money. As Steve Jobs says, those things are secondary.
So my urging to you today, via a precious soul who has gone on to a different dimension, is to LIVE IT UP. Seize the moment. Carpe diem.
Live today as if it were your last. Look at your calendar from the lens of “What would I LOVE?” and take those steps each day that have you live on that raw edge of becoming more and more of who you truly are.
You are Divine. You are Brilliant. You have a Wild and Precious Life to life. You have Great Gargantuan Gifts to Give. So, go do it. Now. Today.
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it, it just blooms.” -Unknown
Mark Twain once said, “Comparison is the death of joy,” and I agree.
Comparison is one of the most corrosive practices we humans do that keeps us stuck and puts us in a low vibration of limitation, lack and separateness—and, frankly, it’s terrible for our bottom line.
It’s a bad habit that I catch myself indulging in from time to time—probably more than I’d like to admit!
For example, I notice that it comes up often when I’m on Facebook, reading other coach’s emails and newsletters, or attending a networking event.
It’s that split-second moment when I walk into a room and start to size everyone up, evaluating whether I’m better than or worse than (or better off/worse off) than the others there.
I believe this is something we ALL do, whether we’re conscious of it or not!
My friend Sylvia Becker-Hill, who is a brilliant executive change strategist, says that creating a real connection with the people you interact with is one of the most important capabilities in business. But what interferes with feeling connected to others are these feelings of inferiority and superiority.
In other words, the ugly voice of comparison.
Here are a few tips that have tremendously helped me clear the comparison clutter from my mind.
My intention is that these tips help you quiet the destructive voice of comparison and expand your capacity—your attention, focus, energy and love—to living your dreams and the fulfillment of your heart’s desires in every area.
1) First off, become aware of it.
As one of my mentors is known for saying the #1 life mastery tool is to simply “Notice what you’re noticing.”
So when I catch the ugly voice of comparison coming up, I’ve learned to stop, pause, take a breath, and say, “Oh, there’s my old friend comparison again!”
Essentially, you’re saying, “I see you” to the thought without judging that it’s there. It’s only when we shine the light of awareness on what’s there can we transcend it.
2) Have compassion for yourself.
In the moment that you become aware of comparison, recognize that you’re human and that it’s such a common human tendency to evaluate yourself in relation to others. When you do that, you can then extend compassion toward yourself.
I love the Dalai Lama’s Loving Kindness Meditation.
First, extend the loving kindness toward yourself with these simple words:
May I be truly happy.
May I live in peace.
May I live in love.
May I know the power of forgiveness.
May I live in recognition that my life has deep meaning, and good purpose.
Then, extend the compassion toward the other person, especially the one that you’ve been comparing yourself with or judging in some way:
May you be truly happy.
May you live in peace.
May you live in love.
May you know the power of forgiveness.
May you live in recognition that your life has deep meaning, and good purpose.
3) Affirm the Truth about who you are.
The truth is, there is no competition. Ultimately, you are not seeking anything that is possessed by anyone else. So, the step here is to cultivate a sense of interconnectedness in our shared humanity and remind yourself that we truly are “all one.”
4) Cultivate an empowering mindset with empowering questions.
When the ugly voice of comparison pops its head up, once you’ve acknowledged it, shined the light of compassion on it and affirmed the truth of who you really are, then the final step is to ask yourself empowering questions. Here are a few examples:
What if I really believed the Universe was conspiring for my success? What if it really was in my corner arranging and aligning all things seen and unseen in my favor?
How would I live and love my day, my life, from this thought pattern?
Kindly leave a comment below and let me know how these tips have helped you. Also, feel free to share your own tips and strategies for quieting that voice of comparison.
You are brilliant. Absolutely, positively and fabulously brilliant!But if you’re like me, you’ve struggled to identify that special “thing” that makes you really SHINE and lights you up no matter what you’re doing or who you’re with.
And when we don’t know what IT is, we tend to doubt ourselves, wonder if we’re “good enough” or if we “have what it takes” or even hold back from sharing our gifts and putting ourselves out there. Which, frankly, can be painful and a huge disservice to others—not to mention, ourselves!
Discovering your unique brilliance is the first step in creating an abundant business and life that you truly LOVE.
You may wonder, “Who am I to be brilliant?”
And as Marianne Williamson so famously says, “Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.”
So getting in touch with YOUR unique brilliance, that has been with you since you were born, is key to sharing your gifts and serving the people you are meant to serve—from your clients or customers to those in your close circle and extended community.
Here are 3 ways to identify your unique brilliance:
Think about what you LOVED to do as a child.
Was it performing, being on stage, reading, writing, singing, dancing, sports, playing with animals, being alone in nature?
Write down at least 5 different things that really lit you up when you were a kid—which, for most of us, is a time in our lives when we were the most free and uninhibited.
Now, write down the words and/or qualities that describe that. (Hint: Think about what you loved to do as a kid meant for you.)
For example, one of my clients loved to read and invent imaginative stories as a young child, and for her that meant the freedom to create, unlimited possibilities, as well as inner pride and accomplishment.
As a child, I Ioved singing, dancing and performing in front of an audience, and for me that meant expressing myself creatively, delighting others, and shining my joyful essence. (It’s no accident that my company name is called SHINE, and my unique business brand is a way for me to authentically stand out from other coaches and consultants.)
So what are the words that described what you LOVED as a kid?
Now, think of 3 times in your life when you were absolutely, positively at your best, and write those down.
Once you’re clear on your Unique Brilliance, the more powerful, focused and aligned you become in your business, finances and relationships. The feeling of using your Unique Brilliance is so powerful and motivating that you’ll find you can begin to let go of anything that is NOT it.
And over time, you’ll find that when tasks and activities try to creep in that are outside of your Unique Brilliance, you quickly learn to ditch, delegate or redesign them—so that you are living primarily in your most brilliant zone!
P.S. As always, I want to hear from you! Post a comment below and let me know your thoughts on these 3 tips to identifying YOUR Unique Brilliance.
What do you do when something you really, really, REALLY want in life isn’t happening yet?
It may be a love relationship (like it was for me at one time in my life) or a business or career that’s in full alignment with who you are. Or perhaps for you it’s about having more balance and free time, or a greater flow of abundance–you’re tired of being on the money rollercoaster.
Yes, things can look bleak at times. “When? WHEN will this happen?” you may find yourself crying out. You might go through periods of despair or you may doubt that it will EVER happen. Or worse, you’ve given up on a dream, assuming that it’s “just not meant to be.”
If your dream is a TRUE desire—one that’s in alignment with your highest expression and not just from an egoic wanting place—then there are things you can do to keep you, as Thoreau says, moving confidently in the direction of your dream.
Last month I shared two of my favorite practices that have made a huge difference in my life. I’d love to hear if you’ve tried one or both of them yet, or hear what practices you DO use that help you. Kindly post your comments at the end of this blog article!
#1 – Become 100% peaceful with your situation, your life, your love life, your business, whatever it is.
#2 – Begin a daily praise (or gratitude) practice.
Now, here are THREE more practices, plus a Bonus Practice that includes the 1 powerful word to say yourself when something doesn’t work out as expected:
#3 – Get into action and stay in action.
Being peaceful with everything in your life exactly as it is now doesn’t mean you give up on your dream and not take any action towards it. In fact, it’s just the opposite!
Eckhart Tolle says, “Being at one with what is doesn’t mean you no longer initiate change or become incapable of taking action. Action comes from a deeper level, though, not from egoic wanting or fear.”
Taking inspired action each day is critical to receive and allow what you want to manifest for you. But it doesn’t have to be in a pushing, striving, pressurized, make-it-happen kind of way that can create stress and tension in your body (like I’ve been known to create in myself) as well as emotional unhappiness.
When these feeling of unease and tension arise, my recommendation: just stop what you’re doing. Use your breath or another technique to bring yourself back to center and then take action only from a place of ease and wellbeing.
Then, on a very practical level, I recommend having an appointment in your calendar every single day (or at least 5 days a week) where you’re taking action toward your dream for a minimum of 30 minutes each day. Mark it in your calendar. This is your commitment to yourself and the larger vision you have for your life. And, then, make sure you take that action each day!
#4 – Get support from someone who will hold you accountable.
Let’s face it. We ALL need support in going for our big dreams. But sometimes relying on the support of just your friends, co-workers, family members or spouse just doesn’t cut it.
There are those times when we need the support of a mentor, coach, counselor, therapist or another trained professional. Someone who has traveled the path and can take you to where you want to be. Someone who can provide you with structure, support and accountability, and take a stand for your greatness—especially when the voice of your paradigm pops in to say, “I can’t do that. I’m not smart enough, savvy enough, pretty enough, thin enough, educated enough, courageous enough, etc. to really go for what my heart truly wants.”
This has been a critical step on my path. In addition to my own personal daily practices, I’m part of a weekly Mastermind group that holds me accountable. I also receive regular business coaching and training—support and structure—that helps me continually uplevel my skills as a coach and a business owner.
#5 – Surrender.
Do all you can from where you are with what you’ve got. Then, let the rest go. “Let go and let God,” as the old adage says. Trust that the Universe has your back and that it’s all working out for the highest good of everyone.
I say that to myself often, “The Universe has my back” and “The Universe loves and adores and is rushing to fulfill my every desire!”
Trust it will all work out and EXPECT that if your desire is a true desire then it will be fulfilled. Desire and expectation go hand and hand. Remember, your job is the “what,” and the Universe takes care of the “how.”
#6 – Bonus Practice:
And when something doesn’t work out as expected, there’s a very powerful word I’ve learned to say… “Neeeeext!”
Many years ago when I was seemingly going from one “failed” relationship to another and wondering when I was EVER going to meet “the one,” I remember having lunch with a dear friend at the Whole Foods in Marin County. When I was telling him about my current relationship and how it didn’t look like it was going to work out between us (yet again). I remember him saying to me, “Rebecca, if it doesn’t work out, GET EXCITED!”
Huh? At first I was shocked to hear him tell me to get excited about a relationship not working out. But then he explained that it just meant that this wasn’t the guy for me and that someone EVEN BETTER and more perfectly suited to me was coming.
So I practice that now when something doesn’t work out that I really wanted. I allow myself to feel the disappointment, anger, sadness or whatever feeling is there. And then I start to reach for a glimmer of excitement or enthusiasm, knowing that something even better is coming my way. This thinking prevents me from staying on the frequency of the “problem” when things go wrong and to even get excited so that I can say “Neeeeext!”
I’d love to hear your comments and feedback. Do you use any of these practices? What other practices do you recommend to “keep the faith” when a big dream, something you’re really longing for, seemingly hasn’t happened yet? Comment below!
Chances are, there’s something in your life that you really, really want—a big dream–but it hasn’t yet manifested for you.
Perhaps it’s an intimate love relationship you’ve been yearning for, a new direction in your career, greater financial abundance so you can live in deeper alignment with your values (like buying only organic food or sustainably-made products), a dream trip to Italy with your family, or an overall feeling of aliveness, ease and wellbeing in your body.
What the heck do you do—because giving up on the dream isn’t an option, right?—when something you truly want hasn’t come true yet?
Here are five of my favorite practices that keep me going when my heart really longs for a big dream:
1) Start with this practice – Be 100% peaceful with your situation or life exactly as it is now.
Just a few weeks ago I was in a low point with a particular situation in my business. I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to FIX it. “Make it happen, Rebecca. Try harder,” I demanded of myself. But each time I tried, I still wasn’t getting the results I wanted. The self-induced pressure was mounting, while my body and emotions were crying out in pain.
Then, I had a moment of grace. I read an article in my email inbox where the author shared how she was facing a similar situation, and she decided the best thing she could do was to “be 100% percent peaceful” with the situation no matter what. A flood of tears came pouring out of me. I realized how much I had been pushing.
The first insight I got was to “relax and surrender,” to not resist <em “mso-bidi-font-style:=”” normal”=””>what is. And the second insight I received was to trust—trust that somehow, some way this situation will work itself out.
Eckhart Tolle, in his bestseller A New Earth says, “Nonresistance is the key to the greatest power in the Universe.”
So, the first step is to love what is. Accept it and claim 100% peace for yourself in the situation.
2) Praise the good.
And I mean do this FOR REAL. Everyday. Mark it in your calendar and commit to it.
How many times have you heard that gratitude is the #1 practice for increasing the flow of good in your life—whether it be money, relationships, opportunities, new clients, etc.?
Well, I’ve heard it countless times. But what I discovered with myself is that I’d start a gratitude practice, and then I would stop. I’d pick it back up again, do it for a few weeks, a few days, and then I’d stop again until the next reminder. So now I have a committed “Praise Practice” every single day. It’s in my calendar, and I have reminders that pop up to help me install this new habit in my everyday life.
The reason expressing praise or gratitude is so important is that the latest neuroscience research shows that our brains have actually evolved into having a “negativity bias.”
Rick Hanson in Hardwiring Happiness says our brains act like Velcro when negative experiences happen–and they act like Teflon for the positive ones. That means that when something negative happens in your life–someone quickly cuts you off in traffic or your spouse or partner says something that hurts your feelings or you’re in a restaurant and the waiter is rude to you, your brain will grab on to that experience, sometimes even replaying it over and over.
The research also says that when you have a positive experience–like looking into the eyes of your child or pet or someone you love, or smelling the rain, or you get a raise or a new client, your brain doesn’t naturally hold onto that experience. It quickly slips away, the way eggs easily slide off a Teflon-coated pan.
Knowing that we’re literally hardwired for negativity, for looking for what might go wrong, what do we do? This is where the practice of gratitude—or praise, as I like to call it—comes in.
Wallace Wattles in <em “mso-bidi-font-style:=”” normal”=””>The Science of Getting Rich says this about being thankful: “The more gratefully we fix our minds on the Supreme when good things come to us, the more good things we will receive, and the more rapidly they will come. And the reason simply is that the mental attitude of gratitude draws the mind into closer touch with the source from which the blessings come.”
So, commit to a daily Praise Practice to help lay down those new neural pathways for your brain AND stay on the frequency of what your heart truly desires vs. the negative self-talk of “Why hasn’t this happened yet? What’s wrong with me?”
Start with these practices and let me know how it goes. Add your comments here on this blog!
Part 2 to come in June. Til then, keep the faith and keep SHINING!