What do you do when something you really, really, REALLY want in life isn’t happening yet?
It may be a love relationship (like it was for me at one time in my life) or a business or career that’s in full alignment with who you are. Or perhaps for you it’s about having more balance and free time, or a greater flow of abundance–you’re tired of being on the money rollercoaster.
Yes, things can look bleak at times. “When? WHEN will this happen?” you may find yourself crying out. You might go through periods of despair or you may doubt that it will EVER happen. Or worse, you’ve given up on a dream, assuming that it’s “just not meant to be.”
If your dream is a TRUE desire—one that’s in alignment with your highest expression and not just from an egoic wanting place—then there are things you can do to keep you, as Thoreau says, moving confidently in the direction of your dream.
Last month I shared two of my favorite practices that have made a huge difference in my life. I’d love to hear if you’ve tried one or both of them yet, or hear what practices you DO use that help you. Kindly post your comments at the end of this blog article!
#1 – Become 100% peaceful with your situation, your life, your love life, your business, whatever it is.
#2 – Begin a daily praise (or gratitude) practice.
Now, here are THREE more practices, plus a Bonus Practice that includes the 1 powerful word to say yourself when something doesn’t work out as expected:
#3 – Get into action and stay in action.
Being peaceful with everything in your life exactly as it is now doesn’t mean you give up on your dream and not take any action towards it. In fact, it’s just the opposite!
Eckhart Tolle says, “Being at one with what is doesn’t mean you no longer initiate change or become incapable of taking action. Action comes from a deeper level, though, not from egoic wanting or fear.”
Taking inspired action each day is critical to receive and allow what you want to manifest for you. But it doesn’t have to be in a pushing, striving, pressurized, make-it-happen kind of way that can create stress and tension in your body (like I’ve been known to create in myself) as well as emotional unhappiness.
When these feeling of unease and tension arise, my recommendation: just stop what you’re doing. Use your breath or another technique to bring yourself back to center and then take action only from a place of ease and wellbeing.
Then, on a very practical level, I recommend having an appointment in your calendar every single day (or at least 5 days a week) where you’re taking action toward your dream for a minimum of 30 minutes each day. Mark it in your calendar. This is your commitment to yourself and the larger vision you have for your life. And, then, make sure you take that action each day!
#4 – Get support from someone who will hold you accountable.
Let’s face it. We ALL need support in going for our big dreams. But sometimes relying on the support of just your friends, co-workers, family members or spouse just doesn’t cut it.
There are those times when we need the support of a mentor, coach, counselor, therapist or another trained professional. Someone who has traveled the path and can take you to where you want to be. Someone who can provide you with structure, support and accountability, and take a stand for your greatness—especially when the voice of your paradigm pops in to say, “I can’t do that. I’m not smart enough, savvy enough, pretty enough, thin enough, educated enough, courageous enough, etc. to really go for what my heart truly wants.”
This has been a critical step on my path. In addition to my own personal daily practices, I’m part of a weekly Mastermind group that holds me accountable. I also receive regular business coaching and training—support and structure—that helps me continually uplevel my skills as a coach and a business owner.
#5 – Surrender.
Do all you can from where you are with what you’ve got. Then, let the rest go. “Let go and let God,” as the old adage says. Trust that the Universe has your back and that it’s all working out for the highest good of everyone.
I say that to myself often, “The Universe has my back” and “The Universe loves and adores and is rushing to fulfill my every desire!”
Trust it will all work out and EXPECT that if your desire is a true desire then it will be fulfilled. Desire and expectation go hand and hand. Remember, your job is the “what,” and the Universe takes care of the “how.”
#6 – Bonus Practice:
And when something doesn’t work out as expected, there’s a very powerful word I’ve learned to say… “Neeeeext!”
Many years ago when I was seemingly going from one “failed” relationship to another and wondering when I was EVER going to meet “the one,” I remember having lunch with a dear friend at the Whole Foods in Marin County. When I was telling him about my current relationship and how it didn’t look like it was going to work out between us (yet again). I remember him saying to me, “Rebecca, if it doesn’t work out, GET EXCITED!”
Huh? At first I was shocked to hear him tell me to get excited about a relationship not working out. But then he explained that it just meant that this wasn’t the guy for me and that someone EVEN BETTER and more perfectly suited to me was coming.
So I practice that now when something doesn’t work out that I really wanted. I allow myself to feel the disappointment, anger, sadness or whatever feeling is there. And then I start to reach for a glimmer of excitement or enthusiasm, knowing that something even better is coming my way. This thinking prevents me from staying on the frequency of the “problem” when things go wrong and to even get excited so that I can say “Neeeeext!”
I’d love to hear your comments and feedback. Do you use any of these practices? What other practices do you recommend to “keep the faith” when a big dream, something you’re really longing for, seemingly hasn’t happened yet? Comment below!